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Clear is Kind

We all have needs in how we receive information to best build a reasonable view of the world; a place from which to make informed actions, and feel secure in doing so.

I feel it’s important at the outset and ongoing in our work relationships; to undertake some self-knowledge, and communicate it with others; to pass-on that insight into how we like to be communicated to.

What upsets us, brings us uncertainty, doubt, and conversely, how can those around us bring us calm and relief?

Clarity too, in the communications and signalled intentions from the organisation itself is just as important.

I've experienced the consequences of lacking that clarity. We might be left (re)interpreting expectations, or feel a compromised sense of security in wondering what is intended and the real motivations behind a policy change for instance, and what this means for me.

The workplace conventionally, and perhaps still in many industries, in the absence of trust and clarity is fraught with doubt, lack of safety and vulnerability.

This takes work to overcome; by clear communication and building trust through consistent reactions and support.

The humane and compassionate organisation and its leaders are clear; as interpreted by individuals.

Anything less places an unfair cognitive burden and uncertainty in the culture, creating a vague backdrop of unease for individuals, and if at the organisational level, the culture itself.

Clear is Kind. Unclear is unkind - Brene Brown

This article captures the idea:

Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind.

I love this framing; being straightforward, is an act of care, but it can be easy to make the mistake of avoiding sharing honest feedback because it's uncomfortable, even if, on the other side, we both show and gain respect by how we give that feedback.

Managing snowflakes #

The space of developing software is hugely sensitive to feelings, despite what we might think of as a rational, logical field.

We regard our work as the embodiment of our soul; values; an expression of ourselves on some level.

Teams of engineers develop a shared mental model of the world and culture. An equilibrium which can quickly become infiltrated and unseated if there’s a lack of trust and consistency from strong leadership and clear communication with each other.

I guess I was compelled to write this to work-through my thoughts on getting clarity, the unease I feel when I don’t have it and the relief I feel when I do. I am deeply grateful when people are direct with me, as I believe it's a powerful signal of respect and support we can extend to each other at work.

I’ve come to not only insist on others being clear and candid, but am mindful to extend it, respectfully to others.

Clarity is a way of saying, “I see you, and I want to help you succeed. I’m on your side, and this is what I expect.”

As someone who identifies as at least somewhat neurodivergent, it’s refreshing and a means of building familiarity for me; to have space for open communication between manager-report, and express with clarity the small efforts which have an out-sized impact on our peace of mind and self-assuredness.

We can then hear what was said as what was meant; because we’ve done the work to know each other and know the other person is speaking from a place of support of us.

This itself requires a little forethought on our part to be clear in how we help others - particularly our engineering managers and mentors, to communicate and best support us.

Directness and clarity empowers teams

A culture of direct-ness and safety - proven consistently in actions and messaging from the organisation and between managers and their reports - protects teams and individuals from burnout and enables the conditions for experimentation and collaboration.

This is how trust is built. It is not a default in the organisation because we say it is.

Trust has to be consistently signalled at all levels, and felt by individuals to be fulfilled, even - especially when - it hits the fan, or teams come under pressure.

It’s valuable precisely when it is tested and demonstrated as real.

As Engineering Managers and Reports

I have had the fortune of a supportive engineering manager; a coach, confidant and role model in boldly making sht happen* that I can bring to my role as an Engineer and mentor.

As a result of clear communication, I have confidence and expectation that leaders are there to support my own best interests and well-being; where all career topics - formerly ‘vulnerable’ topics such as burnout or considerations of moving on - can be worked through safely before they’re a problem.

Being able to have upfront career conversations in my 1:1s with safety was hugely valuable and disarmed my anxiety and brought me clarity and self-assuredness in my decisions.

Organisations and leaders of technical teams: clarity isn’t just about the message.

It’s the signal of care and respect in our clarity and the empowerment this gives others.